Dear Past Eunice,

I'd like to tell you about guys who like the chase.

I know you don't know this now, but it's pretty much every guy.

At least, it's every guy who hasn't figured out what he wants, or hasn't matured to the level to understand empathy for one other's feelings - 'cept his own. I mean it's like a disease. You'll find yourself hoping that they're innocent, not at fault for their selfish acts, and the worst part is that some of them don't even wear the d-bag uniform. I'll explain what a d-bag is in a future letter.

Here's the key. I am NO expert, but future you will have SEVERAL experiences of being taken advantage of and not seeing through the fog of infatuation and lack of self worth. And that's why I'm writing you this letter - You're too old for the b.s.

Yes you might be 16, but you're still too old for it!

Here's the scenario: Guy woos you, you fall for his candy coated words, you reciprocate communicated feelings, guy realizes that he's woo-ed you to the point of locking in to a "serious" relationship, and then he second thinks himself because he's not ready to commit (in a lot of cases it's simply the idea of loss of freedom or the ol' ball and chain). All of those sweet words, tingly feelings and attention heavy outing with friends, go out the window. And you, the simply innocent-looking for a good guy- girl, is left with your heart in pieces, because nothing you do will rewind time to get him back to day one.

WRONG.

First, nothing you do will rewind time to get him back to day one. This is true. It's what you DON'T do that will get him back to day one. Don't initiate any type of contact, don't respond to his attempts, don't show any interest in his life - because honey, you've got your own to live.

 You can guess what's next - the guy will come crawling back! His pride is tugging at your coat tails screaming, "No she di-int just ignore my 10 instant messenger messages and 4 phone calls!" (Is that accurate? I'd like to think they at least think that way in their heads")

Second - great, now you've done nothing and put the guy to shame. By all means, celebrate in your success in making this guy feel like he's as small as your pinky nail. BUT, at this point, I hope you've realized the crap that this guy has put you through, and that there is completely NO DOUBT, that he will do this to you again - once the second chase is over.

You need to remember - if the guy loses interest past "the chase", then he is not worth your time in the first place. To not appreciate you for your bubbly personality, and what's behind those large purple glasses, is truly the first mistake he's made. So, PLEASE - save future you some tears, heartbreak and pride and move on because as easy as it will be to fall back into his arms, you will NOT be happy when he does the same selfish thing to you again.

I promise that there are better looking and more intelligent fish in the sea - AND, other fish that will be past all the b.s. and will be ready to give you a relationship that you deserve. And you'll wear contact lenses and start to get your hair cut by someone other than your mom.

Also, listen to your friends on this one. In fact, listen to your friends on most everything - except the ones that you find oddly peculiar and agree on renting an apartment with in college. I'll give you a hint her name starts with a "T".

Good luck, Past Eunice.

More warnings soon.

XO,

Future Eunice

P.S. Tell Sunny that she'll soon get in an identical purple cadillac that isn't hers and try driving it away before realizing that it's not her car. She'll get a kick out of it.